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I Felt a Little Sheepish When He Said, "So, I'm the Fourth Doctor You've Seen?"

On Monday, I saw a new doctor, to get another opinion after our less-than-pleasant consultation with Dr. Ego. I liked the new doctor quite a bit; he was sympathetic, ready to take my opinions into consideration, and eager to offer help. When he heard our position on not freezing embryos, he said that he did not think IVF would be worthwhile for us. In his opinion, the limitations imposed by fertilizing a small number of eggs make the risks of IVF outweigh the potential benefits. However, he tried to offer as many other options as possible. He asked if we would be open to using donor embryos and gave me a list of the embryos that they currently have available at their clinic. (He also informed us that insurance companies consider donor embryos cycles the same as fresh IVF cycles; that means we'd have to choose between dFET and IVF for our remaining two covered cycles.) He said that we could continue to do IUIs. He mentioned that, judging by our records, it's entirely possible that we could still conceive without medical assistance. And he directed me to an article that he had recently read that mentioned a Christian fertility doctor in Oklahoma (turns out he had his facts a little mixed up, but I appreciated the effort all the same).

All that to say, I definitely like this doctor's personality a lot, but Aaron and I aren't sure what to pursue next. We'll probably take a break for the rest of the year, regardless; we don't really want to squeeze fertility treatments into the next couple of months that are already full of business trips, our anniversary, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. In the meantime, we're praying for guidance as we consider all the possibilities. Do we look around for a doctor who will do IVF within our parameters? Do we try one of the other medical options, like donor embryos or more IUIs? Do we pursue adoption? Do we just rest as a family of two and wait to see what the Lord does?

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you" (2 Chron. 20:12).

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand" (Ps. 31:14-15).


JJ said...

All those questions...all the things weighing on your hearts and minds. Its a roller coaster I wish I could help you get off of. Just know that I pray for you every day!

Infertile Friend said...

Wow - lots to think about. I'll pray that God lights your path so you know without a doubt which way to turn.

Sara E said...

I love that 2 Chronicles verse! What a great picture of trust.

We look around and our circumstances stump us, but we know that God has delivered us in the past, and will be faithful to do so again. So we wait and watch for him to work.

I'm continuing to pray for you and Aaron.

Anonymous said...

I, also, am praying for you. That's all I can say.

Lauren said...

Oh it's so hard to know what to do--when to move forward, when to stop and wait...I pray God will guide you in the path he desires. I'm really glad you found a doctor who at least listened to you and offered constructive advice rather than just tossing aside your considerations.

GLouise said...

It is so hard to know what to do! I pray the Lord will direct your paths.

Our diagnosis was somewhat similar in that it's not medically impossible for us to get pregnant...It just hasn't happened yet after 8+ years of marriage. Adoption was a wonderful option for us, but as you know, not for everyone :-) Prayers and blessings!!

Vacant Uterus said...

That's a lot to think about! Taking a break sounds like a good idea. Sarge I took a break for almost a whole year. Part of that was unintentional but it was actually the best thing we could ahve done. I felt total peace moving into adoption where I would not have if we hadn't been forced to simply be still. I'm praying for you, that you would have wisdom and peace. *Hugs* dear friend!

Faith said...

That's a lot to work through, and there's probably a lot of wisdom in taking the holidays to think and pray through it. We'll be thinking about you as you make these decisions. Glad you found a doctor you liked better, though -- that's a positive!

Anonymous said...

It's okay to live as a human being not a human doing during this time.

Romans 6:13 "Surrender your whole being to Him to be used for rightous purposes."

Abundant Joy to you.

Alex and Jill said...

I'm looking forward to our 3 month break as well!

Praying your next steps will be clear.


Elaine said...

I'm glad you connected personally with your new doctor. I think that makes a huge difference. However, if he isn't willing to do IVF within your perimeters, I would definitley shop around until you find one who will. Be your own advocate--because no one else will. Seek God for guidance. There's no doubt He will provide answers!

Amy said...

I pray that these next few months are truly restful (in spite of how busy!) and that both of you will know how to proceed after your rest.