A couple Sundays ago, Tab preached a most helpful message from Hebrews 9:15-28. You can listen to the message here. The main point was that, when it comes to relating to God, there is no substitute for the gospel, the finished work of Christ. We often think of the gospel as a one-time thing, what brings us to God when we first become believers. But the gospel isn't just the gateway of first-time access to God; it's the gateway for our everyday relationship with God. Unfortunately, we're all prone to substitute other things for the finished work of Christ, thinking we need to add to the gospel or move on to something new. Tab highlighted three "gospel substitutes;" I'm going to focus on two of them.
The first gospel substitute is self-reliance. We think there is something we can do, even have to do, that will bring us to God. Do you ever think that, because you didn't make time to pray in the morning, you can't be close to the Lord or get help from him on a certain day? Or do you think that you have to work up some specific emotion in order to connect with God while singing worship? That's the gospel substitute of self-reliance. That's forgetting that faith is not based on our works but on Christ's work. What's the remedy in those times when we think our relationship with God depends on something we do? We have to go back to the gospel. Jesus appears in the presence of God on our behalf (v. 24); he has a permanent place in heaven securing the way to God. We don't have to do anything to relate to God. We simply, completely rely on the access bought by Christ's sacrifice.
The second gospel substitute is self-atonement. This is the highly insidious belief that we have to make up for our sins before we can relate to God. As if we even could! Yet we give into the lie again and again. Here's what it looks like: We sin; then, we think we have to wait to draw near to God until we've stopped sinning. ("I can't pray for help when I still feel so angry at my husband!") Or, we think we have to wait to draw near to God until we feel forgiven. ("Yes, I confessed that sin to God. But he won't really forgive me and help me change unless I feel bad enough about what I've done.") Don't we all think those kind of thoughts? When we do, we're making our own (in)ability to atone for our sins a substitute for the gospel. What's the antidote? We remind ourselves that Jesus has appeared once for all to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself (v. 26). His once-for-all sacrifice leaves no room for any extra sacrifices we try to make to pay for our sins. What joy and freedom this good news brings!
I'm so glad to be at a church where I hear the regular call to accept no substitutes for the gospel. I've needed these truths during a busy season of moving, infertility treatments, and family visits. I'm going to continue needing these truths every day of my life, so that I can keep growing in the grace to rely on Christ and not myself.
Showing posts with label Preach It. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Preach It. Show all posts
8.14.2008
4.25.2008
Contentment, Drift, and the Good News
As I wait for the results of this IUI cycle, I continue to be grateful to God for the contentment he has given me even in the middle of trial. But I've discovered that contentment is accompanied by a danger; I'm no longer quite so aware of my need for God. Where I used to urgently search for daily truth and grace to sustain me in the midst of difficulty, I lately have read Scripture and prayed with a sense of complacency. At church last Sunday, the message from Hebrews 2:1-4 spurred me on to guard against the danger of drift by paying "much closer attention" to the gospel. One of the application questions for the message was, "How do your affections for the gospel compare to where they were three months ago?" That question convicted me. My hard-won contentment was born out of gratitude for the gospel, but while the contentment has lingered, the cross-centeredness had not. So I have purposed, as I spend time with the Lord each day, to look more intentionally for the good news that Christ died for my sins.
Good news wasn't too hard to find in my reading in Ephesians this morning!
What a celebration of the precious gospel! God is rich in mercy towards me, not stingy. Why? Because he loves me with a great love! And why does he love me? Not because of anything inherently lovely in me. I was dead in my sin, so it was as though God's love wooed a corpse. But his love is strong enough to raise the dead; he made my soul alive with Christ. What a salvation! And not only did he resurrect this dead sinner, he has given me a place with Christ in his glory, an inheritance with the heir of the universe. All this God did so that he could show me the vast wealth of his grace and kindness. All his bounty is passed on to me through Christ. Content with my lot? How can I be less than content with the riches of the gospel at my disposal?
Good news wasn't too hard to find in my reading in Ephesians this morning!
"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace and kindness towards us in Christ Jesus" (Ephesians 2:4-7).
What a celebration of the precious gospel! God is rich in mercy towards me, not stingy. Why? Because he loves me with a great love! And why does he love me? Not because of anything inherently lovely in me. I was dead in my sin, so it was as though God's love wooed a corpse. But his love is strong enough to raise the dead; he made my soul alive with Christ. What a salvation! And not only did he resurrect this dead sinner, he has given me a place with Christ in his glory, an inheritance with the heir of the universe. All this God did so that he could show me the vast wealth of his grace and kindness. All his bounty is passed on to me through Christ. Content with my lot? How can I be less than content with the riches of the gospel at my disposal?
1.15.2008
Plan to Pray
Continuing the Sunday sermon series on prayer, our good friend Josh taught about one practical way to pray by meditating on Scripture. The three basic steps are to read, think, and pray. Using Scripture to inform and shape our prayers helps to keep our minds from wandering, helps us to pray more effectively, and helps us to benefit more from God's word. If you feel like your prayer life is floundering (and mine usually is!), I'd encourage you to listen to Josh's message and come up with a plan to meditate and pray.
Rather than going into all the details of my sermon notes, I thought I'd share my plan for reading Scripture and praying this year. I am using For the Love of God (Vol. 2) to guide me through the Bible. I've used Volume 1 of this set by D. A. Carson before, and I really like the format. Each day gives four passages of Scripture to read and a brief commentary on one of those passages. I take my time reading each chapter (usually two Old Testament and two New Testament), and once I finish reading a chapter I go back through it and write in a journal any verses that stood out to me. Then I write down some thoughts and prayers about how those verses relate to my life - how God is at work and how he calls me to respond to him. For me, writing keeps my prayers focused. Once I've completed all the reading for the day, my goal is to take about ten minutes to pray specifically for my husband and for our church. All told, the whole process lasts about 45 minutes to an hour (accompanied by breakfast and my hot drink of choice!). I hope that this plan bears much fruit and growth in my life and my prayers this year!
Rather than going into all the details of my sermon notes, I thought I'd share my plan for reading Scripture and praying this year. I am using For the Love of God (Vol. 2) to guide me through the Bible. I've used Volume 1 of this set by D. A. Carson before, and I really like the format. Each day gives four passages of Scripture to read and a brief commentary on one of those passages. I take my time reading each chapter (usually two Old Testament and two New Testament), and once I finish reading a chapter I go back through it and write in a journal any verses that stood out to me. Then I write down some thoughts and prayers about how those verses relate to my life - how God is at work and how he calls me to respond to him. For me, writing keeps my prayers focused. Once I've completed all the reading for the day, my goal is to take about ten minutes to pray specifically for my husband and for our church. All told, the whole process lasts about 45 minutes to an hour (accompanied by breakfast and my hot drink of choice!). I hope that this plan bears much fruit and growth in my life and my prayers this year!
1.08.2008
Devoted to Prayer
Our church is currently studying prayer. We had a guest speaker, Rick Gamache, last Sunday who spoke from Colossians 4:2. (All that follows is a record of my sermon notes, not my original thinking!) He began with the question, "What is prayer?" Pretty much any person - Christian or otherwise - knows that prayer is asking God for things. Rick offered this definition: Prayer is an expression of our dependence on God through asking him to satisfy the desires of our heart.
One translation of Col. 4:2 reads, "Devote yourselves to prayer." Devotion is an unwavering commitment. Think of what it means to be devoted to a spouse; I don't spend every moment with Aaron, but he is a significant priority, frequently occupying my thoughts and time. Likewise, I should dedicate myself to prayer. In this world, I have to battle to devote myself to prayer. I have to watch against those things that want to crowd prayer out and resist the temptation to think that I am too busy to pray. Spurgeon says that "prayer is a saving of time... for if God has given us time for secondary duties, He must have given us time for primary ones, and to draw near to Him is a primary duty, and we must let nothing set it on one side."
So we are clearly commanded to persist in prayer. But why? First and foremost, we pray because Christ has made a way for us to do so. We cannot take for granted that we, sinfully depraved people, have constant access to the presence of a perfectly holy God, through the merit of another, namely Jesus Christ. The command to devote ourselves to prayer is really a lavishly gracious invitation! The infinitely powerful, wise, loving and good God of the universe calls us to ask him for the good things that he desires to give us as his sons and daughters. We pray, also, because God promises to act when we pray. Spurgeon again: "[W]e believe that, into the ear of the eternal God, we speak our wants, and that His ear is linked with a heart feeling for us, and a hand working on our behalf." There should be a rhythm of desperation and deliverance in our lives as Christians. We ask, God gives help, we get help, and God gets glory.
One practical suggestion is that we intermingle the Word and prayer. John 15:7 records Jesus saying, "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." We need to pray our Bibles, not just read them. God's Word produces the faith that we need for answered prayer and transforms us to ask rightly according to God's will. Plan to pray both structured (set time and place to pray through Scripture) and unstructured (spontaneous cries of desperation, thanksgiving, and praise) prayers this year!
One translation of Col. 4:2 reads, "Devote yourselves to prayer." Devotion is an unwavering commitment. Think of what it means to be devoted to a spouse; I don't spend every moment with Aaron, but he is a significant priority, frequently occupying my thoughts and time. Likewise, I should dedicate myself to prayer. In this world, I have to battle to devote myself to prayer. I have to watch against those things that want to crowd prayer out and resist the temptation to think that I am too busy to pray. Spurgeon says that "prayer is a saving of time... for if God has given us time for secondary duties, He must have given us time for primary ones, and to draw near to Him is a primary duty, and we must let nothing set it on one side."
So we are clearly commanded to persist in prayer. But why? First and foremost, we pray because Christ has made a way for us to do so. We cannot take for granted that we, sinfully depraved people, have constant access to the presence of a perfectly holy God, through the merit of another, namely Jesus Christ. The command to devote ourselves to prayer is really a lavishly gracious invitation! The infinitely powerful, wise, loving and good God of the universe calls us to ask him for the good things that he desires to give us as his sons and daughters. We pray, also, because God promises to act when we pray. Spurgeon again: "[W]e believe that, into the ear of the eternal God, we speak our wants, and that His ear is linked with a heart feeling for us, and a hand working on our behalf." There should be a rhythm of desperation and deliverance in our lives as Christians. We ask, God gives help, we get help, and God gets glory.
One practical suggestion is that we intermingle the Word and prayer. John 15:7 records Jesus saying, "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." We need to pray our Bibles, not just read them. God's Word produces the faith that we need for answered prayer and transforms us to ask rightly according to God's will. Plan to pray both structured (set time and place to pray through Scripture) and unstructured (spontaneous cries of desperation, thanksgiving, and praise) prayers this year!
11.18.2007
And Then There Was Sin
Today at church, we reached chapter 3 in the current teaching series on Genesis. Genesis 3 recounts the fall - the original sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. To understand why our world today is so different from life in the perfection of God's original creation, we need to understand this tragic day in Eden.
Why is it such a big deal that Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit? It was not an arbitrary transgression of an arbitrary rule; humanity committed outright rebellion against God himself. The first man and woman believed lies about God's character, questioned God's motive toward them, and denied God's authority. This disobedience evoked a response of both judgment and mercy from God. The judgment lies in the bitter consequences of sin: estrangement and shame, pain in childbearing and in work, strife in marriage, the realities of decay and death, and being cast out from God's presence. Yet, there is mercy; God's grace offers hope to fallen people. After the disobedience of Adam and Eve, who went looking for whom? God, rather than justly smiting the rebellious couple then and there, takes the initiative to seek out those broken human beings. He set up a plan for decisive victory of sin and its consequences. He promises a Savior to crush the serpent who led people astray. Eventually, Jesus comes to live a guiltless life, to resist all the temptations that Adam and Eve could not, to melt away the effects of sin (healing disease, softening hardened hearts). Then he is bruised mightily on the cross, bearing the curse in our place. One day, he will return to deal ultimately with sin and to restore to his people pure fellowship with God himself. "There is hope even in paradise lost" (R. Kent Hughes).
What does this story of the first couple eating forbidden fruit in the first garden have to do with us today? I had several personal reflections as I listened to this sermon. First, I thought about how the pain of infertility is tied to the curse of pain in childbearing; apart from the fall, conceiving and giving birth to children would have been effortless, but now the whole process is fraught with difficulty and suffering. I am so grateful that heaven promises an end to these sorrows! And second, I thought about my own depravity. I can be prone to think, "Gosh, Adam and Eve sure messed things up! If it weren't for their mistakes, life would be perfect today." But if I had been the one in the garden, I am sure that I would have made the same grave error. I am just as prone to question God's character and motive, to wonder if he is really doing what is best for me. Thank the Lord that he seeks me out in my unbelief! What amazing mercy, that he offers me salvation and sanctification, and that he redeems my crooked heart and my broken body!
Why is it such a big deal that Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit? It was not an arbitrary transgression of an arbitrary rule; humanity committed outright rebellion against God himself. The first man and woman believed lies about God's character, questioned God's motive toward them, and denied God's authority. This disobedience evoked a response of both judgment and mercy from God. The judgment lies in the bitter consequences of sin: estrangement and shame, pain in childbearing and in work, strife in marriage, the realities of decay and death, and being cast out from God's presence. Yet, there is mercy; God's grace offers hope to fallen people. After the disobedience of Adam and Eve, who went looking for whom? God, rather than justly smiting the rebellious couple then and there, takes the initiative to seek out those broken human beings. He set up a plan for decisive victory of sin and its consequences. He promises a Savior to crush the serpent who led people astray. Eventually, Jesus comes to live a guiltless life, to resist all the temptations that Adam and Eve could not, to melt away the effects of sin (healing disease, softening hardened hearts). Then he is bruised mightily on the cross, bearing the curse in our place. One day, he will return to deal ultimately with sin and to restore to his people pure fellowship with God himself. "There is hope even in paradise lost" (R. Kent Hughes).
What does this story of the first couple eating forbidden fruit in the first garden have to do with us today? I had several personal reflections as I listened to this sermon. First, I thought about how the pain of infertility is tied to the curse of pain in childbearing; apart from the fall, conceiving and giving birth to children would have been effortless, but now the whole process is fraught with difficulty and suffering. I am so grateful that heaven promises an end to these sorrows! And second, I thought about my own depravity. I can be prone to think, "Gosh, Adam and Eve sure messed things up! If it weren't for their mistakes, life would be perfect today." But if I had been the one in the garden, I am sure that I would have made the same grave error. I am just as prone to question God's character and motive, to wonder if he is really doing what is best for me. Thank the Lord that he seeks me out in my unbelief! What amazing mercy, that he offers me salvation and sanctification, and that he redeems my crooked heart and my broken body!
11.11.2007
The Purpose and Power of God in Marriage
At church this morning, the message addressed marriage again, this time out of Ephesians 5. God's purpose for marriage is set within the broader purpose explained in Eph. 1 as being "set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth" (v. 9-10) and to "put all things under [Christ's] feet and [give] him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all" (v. 22-22). Marriage is part of and a reflection of this universal purpose. Paul doesn't compare marriage to the relationship between Christ and the church because he was fishing around for a close analogy; marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ and the church. How do we participate in that purpose? Husbands lead with love, dying to themselves in order to spiritually nourish and wholeheartedly cherish their wives. Wives respond with respect, embracing the primary privilege of representing to a watching world how the bride of Christ responds to her Husband. The power that enables husbands and wives to pursue this purpose for marriage is first, the gospel - which turns our hearts from the gravitational pull to sin to focus on more than just what makes us selfishly happy - and second, the Holy Spirit. The section on marriage in Eph. 5 is prefaced by the command to "be filled with the Spirit, ... submitting to one another out of reverence to Christ." Our relationship in marriage is one outworking of that command, empowered by the Holy Spirit. (Side note from another recent teaching: the command to submit to one another is also elaborated for the relationships of parents & children - where we all agree that there a defined roles that don't get switched around depending on the personalities of the parties involved - and slaves & masters - "slavery" in the ancient world often being something voluntarily done to pay off a debt, and therefore more akin to modern employee-employer relationship than the type of slavery we think of from the American South, and again, this is not an arena where responsibilities get swapped.) The task that husbands and wives have in marriage is not easy, but we have the gospel and the Spirit to give us the grace we desperately need.
Aaron and I enjoyed a time of fellowship after hearing this message. We got to encourage each other for how we are doing well - Aaron for cherishing me with romantic gifts and surprises, nourishing me by fostering spiritual conversations, and leading me humbly by accepting guidance when I help him; me for respecting Aaron even when he is "not respectable" (his words, not mine!) in his sin, and for submitting my schedule to him. We also shared where we each think the other needs to grow (funnily enough, it was the same area!), and reminded each other that God will meet us as we seek to be less selfish.
Where are you all encouraged in your marriages? Share with your spouse first, but then please share with me; I'd love to learn from you!
Aaron and I enjoyed a time of fellowship after hearing this message. We got to encourage each other for how we are doing well - Aaron for cherishing me with romantic gifts and surprises, nourishing me by fostering spiritual conversations, and leading me humbly by accepting guidance when I help him; me for respecting Aaron even when he is "not respectable" (his words, not mine!) in his sin, and for submitting my schedule to him. We also shared where we each think the other needs to grow (funnily enough, it was the same area!), and reminded each other that God will meet us as we seek to be less selfish.
Where are you all encouraged in your marriages? Share with your spouse first, but then please share with me; I'd love to learn from you!
11.04.2007
Different by Design
The message at church this morning addressed a topic that has featured significantly in my thinking as a Christian woman - God's design for gender. Gender issues are not the gospel, so I do try not to make them the focus of my Christian life. But what we believe about gender has a lot of practical influence on our daily living, and the Bible has much to say about who we are as men and women. What Scripture teaches about gender generates controversy, and I've been on both sides of the debate at various times. I'll share my notes from today's sermon, and then I'll add a bit of my own story and perspective at the end.
According to God's Word, men and women have equal value and dignity before God. We share the privilege of being God's image-bearers (Gen. 1:27). Every discussion about gender difference must start with an assertion of our absolute equality. Along with our equality, we also have differences as men and women. Scripture particularly describes the different roles we have in marriage. God established these roles as part of his created order - not as a result of the fall. The Genesis account indicates this in several ways: the order of creation (man first, then woman - re-emphasized in 1 Tim. 2:12-13), the man's naming of woman (the role of naming carried a degree of authority), the primary accountability of the man (Adam is the first one held responsible for Eve's sin, although she bears responsibility, too), the purpose of creation (Eve made a helper for Adam, not vice versa), and the distortion and restoration of our differences (compare the curse in Gen. 3:16 to the warning to Cain in Gen. 4:7). The Biblical ideal for the husband is loving, humble leadership; because of sin, men are prone to errors of passivity - being shirkers - or errors of aggression - being tyrants. The Biblical ideal for the wife is joyful, intelligent submission; because of sin women are prone to errors of passivity - being doormats - or errors of aggression - being usurpers. The equality and the difference in gender reflect the equality and the differences of the Trinity (1 Cor. 11:3), where headship and submission have existed for eternity. If we dislike these things, we dislike something about the very nature of God. We can glorify God by gladly embracing the wisdom and beauty of his good design.
This teaching about gender helped me as I continue to clarify my thinking about my role as a woman and as a wife. As a teen, I took the traditional roles for granted but began to question how I fit in as a young lady always being praised for her "leadership" gift. In college, I sought and bought into a lot of teaching about evangelical feminism. But as Aaron and I prepared for marriage, I found myself confronted by a biblical text that I could not explain away as cultural or historical or part of the fall - the teaching in Ephesians 5 about husbands and wives relating to each other as a reflection of Christ and the church. Christ heads the church, and the church submits to Christ. That relationship is eternal, unchanging with culture, never to be inverted so that Christ would sometimes submit to the church. So although I still had a lot of questions about how the roles would work out practically in our marriage, I felt convicted that I needed to embrace my God-given role as a wife who submits to her husband. Looking back, I can see that most of my reluctance to the biblical teaching about gender stemmed from two fears: one, that as a woman I would be seen as inferior, and two, that my gifts and talents would be squandered or squelched if I took on the "traditional" role. I've learned that being my husband's helper does neither of those things. The fact that Aaron needs my help doesn't mean I have a lesser part; I get the privilege of using my abilities to their fullest in service to my best friend and love. It doesn't matter which one of us is naturally better at any one thing; we are each equal before God, and we are each given certain responsibilities by God. We serve each other - him by humbly leading, and me by joyfully helping. We're both growing in these roles, and we're reaping the benefits of the Lord's design for gender equality and difference.
I know there are probably a lot of different perspectives about this issue among you blog readers. Where do you stand? What from the teaching I summarized (in paragraph two) stood out to you?
According to God's Word, men and women have equal value and dignity before God. We share the privilege of being God's image-bearers (Gen. 1:27). Every discussion about gender difference must start with an assertion of our absolute equality. Along with our equality, we also have differences as men and women. Scripture particularly describes the different roles we have in marriage. God established these roles as part of his created order - not as a result of the fall. The Genesis account indicates this in several ways: the order of creation (man first, then woman - re-emphasized in 1 Tim. 2:12-13), the man's naming of woman (the role of naming carried a degree of authority), the primary accountability of the man (Adam is the first one held responsible for Eve's sin, although she bears responsibility, too), the purpose of creation (Eve made a helper for Adam, not vice versa), and the distortion and restoration of our differences (compare the curse in Gen. 3:16 to the warning to Cain in Gen. 4:7). The Biblical ideal for the husband is loving, humble leadership; because of sin, men are prone to errors of passivity - being shirkers - or errors of aggression - being tyrants. The Biblical ideal for the wife is joyful, intelligent submission; because of sin women are prone to errors of passivity - being doormats - or errors of aggression - being usurpers. The equality and the difference in gender reflect the equality and the differences of the Trinity (1 Cor. 11:3), where headship and submission have existed for eternity. If we dislike these things, we dislike something about the very nature of God. We can glorify God by gladly embracing the wisdom and beauty of his good design.
This teaching about gender helped me as I continue to clarify my thinking about my role as a woman and as a wife. As a teen, I took the traditional roles for granted but began to question how I fit in as a young lady always being praised for her "leadership" gift. In college, I sought and bought into a lot of teaching about evangelical feminism. But as Aaron and I prepared for marriage, I found myself confronted by a biblical text that I could not explain away as cultural or historical or part of the fall - the teaching in Ephesians 5 about husbands and wives relating to each other as a reflection of Christ and the church. Christ heads the church, and the church submits to Christ. That relationship is eternal, unchanging with culture, never to be inverted so that Christ would sometimes submit to the church. So although I still had a lot of questions about how the roles would work out practically in our marriage, I felt convicted that I needed to embrace my God-given role as a wife who submits to her husband. Looking back, I can see that most of my reluctance to the biblical teaching about gender stemmed from two fears: one, that as a woman I would be seen as inferior, and two, that my gifts and talents would be squandered or squelched if I took on the "traditional" role. I've learned that being my husband's helper does neither of those things. The fact that Aaron needs my help doesn't mean I have a lesser part; I get the privilege of using my abilities to their fullest in service to my best friend and love. It doesn't matter which one of us is naturally better at any one thing; we are each equal before God, and we are each given certain responsibilities by God. We serve each other - him by humbly leading, and me by joyfully helping. We're both growing in these roles, and we're reaping the benefits of the Lord's design for gender equality and difference.
I know there are probably a lot of different perspectives about this issue among you blog readers. Where do you stand? What from the teaching I summarized (in paragraph two) stood out to you?
6.12.2007
Na Messages - Infertility Style (Part 2)
(Last New Attitude post, I promise! Continuing with a recap of sermon notes and thoughts on application...)
Discerning Grey Matters - Eric Simmons (Mon. a.m.)
Col. 1:9-14
- grey matters are not areas where we do whatever we want, but areas where we seek harder to understand God's will
- 3 parts of discerning grey matters: (1) think biblically; (2) distrust your heart/motives; (3) imitate your Father
Infertility can be full of grey matters. I want to exercise discernment through ongoing evaluation of each step and each action undertaken in our quest to conceive. I don't want to make any assumptions (i.e. we did IVF in an ethical way before, so it's okay to keep attempting IVF as many times as it takes) without thinking biblically and examining my motives with grace-filled suspicion. As I write about infertility on this blog, I want to seek to imitate my heavenly Father rather than patterning myself after the subculture of the infertile. While I thank God for my companions in this struggle, I want to be identified more as a child of God than an infertility blogger.
Discerning What Pleases God: Himself - John Piper (Mon. p.m.)
- Who is the most God-centered person in the universe? God himself
- Who is uppermost in God's affection? God himself
- Is God an idolater? No
- What is God's chief jealousy? To be known and glorified and obeyed
- What is the chief end of God? To glorify and enjoy himself forever
- Do you feel most loved by God because he makes much of you or because he frees you to make much of him?
- Are you God-centered because he is supremely valuable to you or because you believe you are supremely valuable to him?
As I think about the trial of infertility, what confidence those questions bring, especially the last two! If God proved his love for me by making much of me, then hard, heart-breaking times like these would disprove his love. If God's primary purpose and best action were to value me and uplift me, this thwarting of my desires and yearnings would show that God was not very good at being God. But if God's demonstrates love by increasing my awe of him, if his goal is to make himself most valuable to me, then infertility is a mighty tool to accomplish his loving purposes. Infertility teaches me that life is not all about what I want, that I am utterly dependent on my Creator and Redeemer. I want my experience of infertility to act like a telescope, magnifying God by bringing his greatness into a close-up view.
Discerning What Pleases God: Personal Obedience - John Piper (Mon. p.m.)
- obedience that God abominates: (1) obedience offered as the ground of justification before God; (2) obedience offered as payback for God's grace
- obedience that pleases God: (1) faith in the gospel, by which we receive Christ's obedience; (2) obedience that magnifies our debt to fresh springs of future grace
As I seek to walk through this trial in obedience, I want to do so as a debtor to grace. Obedience is not a bargaining chip to get the children I want. All I can do is boast in Christ's mercy and benefits. He has already purchased all of the grace that I will ever need; I just keep asking for more of that grace to be applied like a balm to my sore and sinful heart. His grace will abound to me with perfect sufficiency for the good works of waiting patiently, of loving pregnant friends and young moms, of counting suffering as joy.
Discern How to Apply - C.J. Mahaney (Tues. a.m.)
James 1:22-23
- the priority of application: "knowledge is the prelude to action"
- the practice of application: effective application is (1) specific, (2) patient, (3) undertaken in the shadow of the cross
I want to be both optimistic and realistic about my spiritual growth. God is at work in my heart through this trial, and he will complete the good work he has begun. But change is not a one-time event; it is a painstakingly slow, ongoing process. As I persevere, I don't want to ever lose sight of Calvary.
Discerning Grey Matters - Eric Simmons (Mon. a.m.)
Col. 1:9-14
- grey matters are not areas where we do whatever we want, but areas where we seek harder to understand God's will
- 3 parts of discerning grey matters: (1) think biblically; (2) distrust your heart/motives; (3) imitate your Father
Infertility can be full of grey matters. I want to exercise discernment through ongoing evaluation of each step and each action undertaken in our quest to conceive. I don't want to make any assumptions (i.e. we did IVF in an ethical way before, so it's okay to keep attempting IVF as many times as it takes) without thinking biblically and examining my motives with grace-filled suspicion. As I write about infertility on this blog, I want to seek to imitate my heavenly Father rather than patterning myself after the subculture of the infertile. While I thank God for my companions in this struggle, I want to be identified more as a child of God than an infertility blogger.
Discerning What Pleases God: Himself - John Piper (Mon. p.m.)
- Who is the most God-centered person in the universe? God himself
- Who is uppermost in God's affection? God himself
- Is God an idolater? No
- What is God's chief jealousy? To be known and glorified and obeyed
- What is the chief end of God? To glorify and enjoy himself forever
- Do you feel most loved by God because he makes much of you or because he frees you to make much of him?
- Are you God-centered because he is supremely valuable to you or because you believe you are supremely valuable to him?
As I think about the trial of infertility, what confidence those questions bring, especially the last two! If God proved his love for me by making much of me, then hard, heart-breaking times like these would disprove his love. If God's primary purpose and best action were to value me and uplift me, this thwarting of my desires and yearnings would show that God was not very good at being God. But if God's demonstrates love by increasing my awe of him, if his goal is to make himself most valuable to me, then infertility is a mighty tool to accomplish his loving purposes. Infertility teaches me that life is not all about what I want, that I am utterly dependent on my Creator and Redeemer. I want my experience of infertility to act like a telescope, magnifying God by bringing his greatness into a close-up view.
Discerning What Pleases God: Personal Obedience - John Piper (Mon. p.m.)
- obedience that God abominates: (1) obedience offered as the ground of justification before God; (2) obedience offered as payback for God's grace
- obedience that pleases God: (1) faith in the gospel, by which we receive Christ's obedience; (2) obedience that magnifies our debt to fresh springs of future grace
As I seek to walk through this trial in obedience, I want to do so as a debtor to grace. Obedience is not a bargaining chip to get the children I want. All I can do is boast in Christ's mercy and benefits. He has already purchased all of the grace that I will ever need; I just keep asking for more of that grace to be applied like a balm to my sore and sinful heart. His grace will abound to me with perfect sufficiency for the good works of waiting patiently, of loving pregnant friends and young moms, of counting suffering as joy.
Discern How to Apply - C.J. Mahaney (Tues. a.m.)
James 1:22-23
- the priority of application: "knowledge is the prelude to action"
- the practice of application: effective application is (1) specific, (2) patient, (3) undertaken in the shadow of the cross
I want to be both optimistic and realistic about my spiritual growth. God is at work in my heart through this trial, and he will complete the good work he has begun. But change is not a one-time event; it is a painstakingly slow, ongoing process. As I persevere, I don't want to ever lose sight of Calvary.
6.11.2007
Na Messages - Infertility Style (Part 1)
I've spent some time each morning (almost!) for the past week and a half reviewing my notes from the New Attitude messages, re-reading the scriptures that were central to each sermon, and jotting down some thoughts about how to apply. Here's a recap:
Discernment - Josh Harris (Sat. p.m.)
Romans 12:1-2
- discernment requires resistance
- discernment requires renewal
- discernment requires action
- discernment requires the gospel
I want to exercise discernment in the realm of infertility. As my circumstances seem to belie God's promises, I want to reclaim truth from the Word daily. I want to practice God's will - to get busy doing what I know he wants me to do - until his will becomes to me good, acceptable, and perfect. I want to blog about infertility by speaking truth, dying to the desire to appear sophisticated. I want to humbly remember that any insight I have into dealing with this trial is only because the Spirit has opened my eyes to the gospel.
Discern Your Doctrine - Mark Dever (Sun. a.m.)
- learn what doctrine we must agree upon through the Bible, your church, & your conscience
- fourfold test for doctrinal importance: (1) how clear is it in Scripture? (2) how clear do others think it is? (3) how near is it to the gospel? (4) what would be the effects of allowing disagreement?
Discern Your Culture - Al Mohler (Sun. p.m.)
- 5 wrong ways of understanding culture (using the metaphor of water): (1) "let's get completely wet" - letting culture define reality; (2) "let's stay completely dry" - impossible, because we cannot talk, eat, etc. without participating in culture in some way; (3) "let's take a dip" - we can't carelessly drop into culture and emerge safe; (4) "let's take a sip" - we cannot understand culture without serious study; (5) "let's look at the aquarium" - we can't engage culture from a distance
- culture is a sea that we swim in; it can be poisonous, but we cannot jump out; we need a systematic theology to understand and relate to culture
Discern Your Heart - C.J. Mahaney (Sun. p.m.)
Ex. 20:2; Rom. 1:25; 1 Thes. 1:9; 1 Cor. 10:4; Col. 3:5; 1 John 5:21
- defining idolatry - a false, functional God
- discerning idolatry - through Scripture, by the Spirit, in the church, in circumstances
- the fruit of identifying idolatry - growth in godliness; growth in gratefulness to God
Idolatry is my chief temptation, whether I recognize it or not. I need new eyes to see the sacrifice Christ made to win me to worship and serve the true God. As I pursue hard after pregnancy and children, I need to be aware when those become ruling desires. When I am prone to envy friends who are pregnant or have children, I need to ask whether that is idolatrous covetousness. I want this test of adversity to wean me from idolatry. I need God's grace so that he - my professed God - truly becomes my functional god - the One who drives every desire that I have.
Discernment - Josh Harris (Sat. p.m.)
Romans 12:1-2
- discernment requires resistance
- discernment requires renewal
- discernment requires action
- discernment requires the gospel
I want to exercise discernment in the realm of infertility. As my circumstances seem to belie God's promises, I want to reclaim truth from the Word daily. I want to practice God's will - to get busy doing what I know he wants me to do - until his will becomes to me good, acceptable, and perfect. I want to blog about infertility by speaking truth, dying to the desire to appear sophisticated. I want to humbly remember that any insight I have into dealing with this trial is only because the Spirit has opened my eyes to the gospel.
Discern Your Doctrine - Mark Dever (Sun. a.m.)
- learn what doctrine we must agree upon through the Bible, your church, & your conscience
- fourfold test for doctrinal importance: (1) how clear is it in Scripture? (2) how clear do others think it is? (3) how near is it to the gospel? (4) what would be the effects of allowing disagreement?
Discern Your Culture - Al Mohler (Sun. p.m.)
- 5 wrong ways of understanding culture (using the metaphor of water): (1) "let's get completely wet" - letting culture define reality; (2) "let's stay completely dry" - impossible, because we cannot talk, eat, etc. without participating in culture in some way; (3) "let's take a dip" - we can't carelessly drop into culture and emerge safe; (4) "let's take a sip" - we cannot understand culture without serious study; (5) "let's look at the aquarium" - we can't engage culture from a distance
- culture is a sea that we swim in; it can be poisonous, but we cannot jump out; we need a systematic theology to understand and relate to culture
Discern Your Heart - C.J. Mahaney (Sun. p.m.)
Ex. 20:2; Rom. 1:25; 1 Thes. 1:9; 1 Cor. 10:4; Col. 3:5; 1 John 5:21
- defining idolatry - a false, functional God
- discerning idolatry - through Scripture, by the Spirit, in the church, in circumstances
- the fruit of identifying idolatry - growth in godliness; growth in gratefulness to God
Idolatry is my chief temptation, whether I recognize it or not. I need new eyes to see the sacrifice Christ made to win me to worship and serve the true God. As I pursue hard after pregnancy and children, I need to be aware when those become ruling desires. When I am prone to envy friends who are pregnant or have children, I need to ask whether that is idolatrous covetousness. I want this test of adversity to wean me from idolatry. I need God's grace so that he - my professed God - truly becomes my functional god - the One who drives every desire that I have.
Na Worship - Infertility Style
My memory of the New Attitude worship times is fading fast when it comes to specifics. Generally, I remember the main theme echoing in my heart - as I filled with near-certainty that our first IVF was failing fast - was that if even the rocks and trees cry out to give God glory, then my tiny embryos too sang a song of praise to their Maker. Even as I grew more and more sure that those two sparks of life had slipped away, my cry was that they would bring God glory. If they bring God the most glory by failing to implant in my womb, then so be it. And that is, indeed, what happened.
For a full list of the songs we sang at each session, look here.
For a full list of the songs we sang at each session, look here.
6.06.2007
New Attitude - Infertility Style
We've now been back from the New Attitude conference for just over a week, and I'm still marshaling my thoughts and figuring out how to apply all I learned. The conference - primarily aimed at singles but open to young married couples - had a unique flavor for me as I spent most of the weekend with dawning realization that our first IVF had failed. I started spotting on our drive down to Louisville, and it continued for most of the weekend. As I struggled with the impending sorrow, I wondered why God wanted me at the conference at that particular time. The first few messages were all excellent, but they seemed to have no application whatsoever to my circumstances full of infertility and grief. But, even as I grumbled in my heart, the Lord met me in a very personal way. On Sunday evening - the halfway point of the conference - the worship time began with a few people sharing brief testimonies about how God has helped them in trials. Even then, my first reaction was to complain that I did not yet have a similar story about what God has done for me. Still, Aaron and I had a bittersweet time weeping before the Lord together. Then, Bob Kauflin sang a prophetic song for those experiencing a loss of some kind. The words he sang ministered balm to my soul and washed over me with awareness that my heavenly Father sees me, cares for me, and wants to speak to me. I knew in that moment that I was not just adrift at the conference but that the Savior had specific purposes for me there. The evening continued with a message on idolatry by C.J. Mahaney. (By the way, you can download all eight Na messages for FREE! from the Sovereign Grace Ministries website - link in sidebar.) Idolatry is a topic I have considered before, and one that is always helpful to hear again. C.J. spent quite a bit of time speaking about idolatry and tests of adversity, which definitely applied to me! One of the things he said that resonated most immediately was that tests of adversity are heightened when we encounter others who are undergoing tests of prosperity in the very same area. How true to my experience of infertility! Yet, what new eyes it brings to my situation to recognize that those friends who are blessed with children are facing tests, too - to be grateful and uncomplaining when nights with crying infants seem long, to keep the Lord as first priority rather than allowing children to be the little rulers of their lives, etc. As C.J. pointed out, biblical examples show that people tend to fail tests of prosperity more often than tests of adversity. So as God gives me grace in my affliction, I want to seek to help those friends who have had blessing poured out into their lives. I'm looking for scripture to renew my mind in that area and considering practical ways that I can put idolatry to death by serving others. We were encouraged at the conference to have one main application point, and that is mine - to be a blessing to those who are prospering with children and pregnancies even as I wade through adversity in that realm.
A few more general Na thoughts to come...
A few more general Na thoughts to come...
3.30.2007
Like a Barren Tree, Part 1
Lately in church and in our care group, we have been learning about a practical strategy for sanctification called the Three Trees Diagram. This model is based on Luke 6:43-45, where Jesus teaches that behavior grows out of our hearts just like fruit grows out of a tree. If a tree is producing rotten fruit, you have to do more than just get rid of the bad fruit - you have to find out what is wrong with the tree. In the same way, if there is sinful behavior in my life (words, thoughts, deeds) I need to find out what is wrong with my heart (the sum of my inner self). The fruit of my behavior grows out of the roots of my heart. Any attempt to address my thoughts and actions needs to begin by finding the problem in my heart.All too often, I would rather look in other places for the problem. I would rather blame other people - "If that person didn't flaunt her pregnancy, I wouldn't feel so jealous!" Or I would rather blame my circumstances - "Anyone going through infertility has a right to the occasional pity-party!" Infertility is very trying. People who don't seem to understand or care what I am going through are tempting. But my response to those trials and temptations comes from my heart. Those outward influences can't force me into any specific thoughts or actions. In the realm of infertility, people have a variety of ways of reacting and dealing with their inability to conceive (anger, depression, determination, etc.). In my own life, I respond to the same circumstance - like a negative pregnancy test - in different ways (devastation, numbness, godly grief). What makes the difference? The heart.
It's not an easy thing to admit that my worst problem is my own heart. But if I try to locate the problem anywhere else, then I will miss the solution found in Christ. Seeing my heart as the root of all my good and bad behavior causes me to see that I am a worse sinner than I have yet dared to admit. But once I see that, I can see how great a Savior I have, how God has provided a much better solution than I dared to dream. And that brings hope. Even if I remain infertile for the rest of my life, my heart can change from a barren tree to a bountifully fruitful tree.
I plan to take a few posts to walk through an example of the Three Trees diagram in my own life. You can listen here (3/18 & 3/25) to the messages that explain the diagram.
3.09.2007
Round 10, Day 6 / Romans 6:12-14
Friday ultrasound & bloodwork: check. Veins in right arm acting rebellious: check. Veins in left arm giving up the goods: check. Enough follicle production after two days of meds to call for lower doses over the weekend: check. Hassle with various pharmacy representatives trying to get more of said meds by tomorrow: check. All systems go; prepare to repeat on Monday.
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Last Sunday, Tab continued our Romans series and preached on 6:12-14. He talked about resisting sin by presenting ourselves to God as instruments of righteousness. In light of my recent struggles with fearfulness, I was helped by the idea of specifically presenting my thought-life to righteousness, using my mind as a weapon against the enemy within. When I am tempted to imagine the worst-case scenario, I want to instead try to think on "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable" (Philippians 4:8). When I irrationally worry that Aaron will die before I have the chance to bear his children, or when I start to assume that we will experience all the worst odds of infertility, I am trying to ask myself: "What is true?" The truth is that I don't know the future, and that such knowledge would be too much for me. The truth is that right now is full of blessing, even if it is also full of hardship. The truth is that I have a faithful God who sent his Son to die on the cross for me and who sympathizes with my sorrow and who works all things for my good. My frightful worries are not true, nor are they lovely. Finding shelter and rest in the hands of my Lord is lovely.
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Last Sunday, Tab continued our Romans series and preached on 6:12-14. He talked about resisting sin by presenting ourselves to God as instruments of righteousness. In light of my recent struggles with fearfulness, I was helped by the idea of specifically presenting my thought-life to righteousness, using my mind as a weapon against the enemy within. When I am tempted to imagine the worst-case scenario, I want to instead try to think on "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable" (Philippians 4:8). When I irrationally worry that Aaron will die before I have the chance to bear his children, or when I start to assume that we will experience all the worst odds of infertility, I am trying to ask myself: "What is true?" The truth is that I don't know the future, and that such knowledge would be too much for me. The truth is that right now is full of blessing, even if it is also full of hardship. The truth is that I have a faithful God who sent his Son to die on the cross for me and who sympathizes with my sorrow and who works all things for my good. My frightful worries are not true, nor are they lovely. Finding shelter and rest in the hands of my Lord is lovely.
3.01.2007
Past Hope for Present Fears
Last Sunday, Tab spoke on Romans 6:11 - "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus." We need to know that our union with Christ makes us new creations, so that we will have faith for sanctification. We need the Jesus' past (his perfect life, his atoning death, his resurrection) to define our present battle against sin. It is only as we believe what God has already done for us in his Son that we believe what he will do for us.
As I listened to the message, I was convicted about my growing fear about the future. Infertility has revealed in my heart an underlying sinful anxiety. Although I think of myself as a pretty optimistic person in general, I have lately felt stuck in a state of expecting the worst. I believe that God is good, but I have managed to twist that belief into a perverse kind of foreboding. It goes something like this in my mind: "God works all things for good, right? Infertility has been really hard, but it must be good somehow. God knows the future, and it is obviously not best for us to have a child right now if he is sovereignly causing us to wait." All okay, so far, huh? But where I get into trouble is when I start playing the mental game of imagining the reasons why we're not supposed to have children. Trying to second guess God's reasoning, I start to wonder if maybe Aaron or I is soon going to die or be paralyzed or something else that would make it really difficult to care for children, or if my sister- and brother-in-law will be in a plane crash so that we will adopt our nephews which would obviously be an easier transition if we don't already have children of our own, or all kinds of other bizarre scenarios usually involving someone's death or debilitation. How do I manage to get from affirming God's goodness to expecting such horrible things to happen? (My sinful heart, that's how!) And once I start imagining those things, I have a hard time taking those thoughts captive. Sunday's message convicted me that those fears are sinful and reminded me that I am not bound to those worries. I am united with Christ and therefore I have hope for change, for growth, for a more genuine trust in God's goodness. Infertility cannot make me a fearful or pessimistic person; it can reveal sin in my heart, but my Savior has paid for that sin and promises to make me more like himself. Instead of looking to the immediate past of our struggles to conceive as an indication of what is to come, I need to look to the far-off but ever-present past of the cross. That's where I see God's goodness displayed, where I see fear defeated, and where I see hope for the future.
As I listened to the message, I was convicted about my growing fear about the future. Infertility has revealed in my heart an underlying sinful anxiety. Although I think of myself as a pretty optimistic person in general, I have lately felt stuck in a state of expecting the worst. I believe that God is good, but I have managed to twist that belief into a perverse kind of foreboding. It goes something like this in my mind: "God works all things for good, right? Infertility has been really hard, but it must be good somehow. God knows the future, and it is obviously not best for us to have a child right now if he is sovereignly causing us to wait." All okay, so far, huh? But where I get into trouble is when I start playing the mental game of imagining the reasons why we're not supposed to have children. Trying to second guess God's reasoning, I start to wonder if maybe Aaron or I is soon going to die or be paralyzed or something else that would make it really difficult to care for children, or if my sister- and brother-in-law will be in a plane crash so that we will adopt our nephews which would obviously be an easier transition if we don't already have children of our own, or all kinds of other bizarre scenarios usually involving someone's death or debilitation. How do I manage to get from affirming God's goodness to expecting such horrible things to happen? (My sinful heart, that's how!) And once I start imagining those things, I have a hard time taking those thoughts captive. Sunday's message convicted me that those fears are sinful and reminded me that I am not bound to those worries. I am united with Christ and therefore I have hope for change, for growth, for a more genuine trust in God's goodness. Infertility cannot make me a fearful or pessimistic person; it can reveal sin in my heart, but my Savior has paid for that sin and promises to make me more like himself. Instead of looking to the immediate past of our struggles to conceive as an indication of what is to come, I need to look to the far-off but ever-present past of the cross. That's where I see God's goodness displayed, where I see fear defeated, and where I see hope for the future.
2.13.2007
Still in the Wrestling Ring
To be united with Jesus is to be dead to sin's reign and alive to God's glory. That was the main point of the message on Romans 6:5-11 given at my church this past Sunday. We particularly need to believe this truth when we are tempted to feel hopeless about sanctification, or spiritual growth, especially in the areas where God is specifically working on our hearts. For me, that area is my inclination to turn my good desire for a child into an idol, something that I demand to have and expect to satisfy me, something that I love more than God. Last week, I felt like giving up in that area. I had grown weary of wrestling against the same sin for two years, and I was ready to resign myself to a life of unchanging defeat. I thought, "Well, I will probably never have a child, and I will probably never learn to be content or to find joy in my Savior despite my sorrows." I needed the reminder that, by faith, I am united to Christ, I am dead to sin's reign, and I am alive to God's glory. I am still fighting against infertility and its accompanying temptations to self-pity and anxiety; I haven't been taken out of the ring. But, I have been picked up off the mat and my opponent is now handicapped. I can't give up, because I have been given new strength and new courage to wrestle against sin and to live a life pleasing to God. Christ's death and resurrection bestow new hope, that sin and its effects no longer have control. When infertility threatens to overwhelm me, when all the odds seem against us conceiving, when despair and discontent seem inescapable, I must be more aware that all of those foes are subject to my Savior and King, who has made me one with him.
1.24.2007
God's Word
For the month of January, our church has been considering God's word, through 3 sermons and a seminar. (Before that, we had the privilege of hearing an absolutely outstanding message on "Not Shifting from the Gospel" - I wish I had posted on it, but I didn't have time to do so earlier this month; I highly recommend you listen to it for yourself!) God's word has been a dear source of comfort to me during this lengthy season of affliction, and it was good to be reminded of those benefits through these recent messages. A few points have particularly stood out:
- We most need to rely on Scripture as true when we don't see the truth of it reflected in our circumstances. I have found this to be the case in my struggles with infertility. The more my situation makes it look like God is distant or uncaring, the more I need to cling to the truth in God's word that tell me he is near and kind. As it seems less and less likely that we will conceive, I need more and more to believe that all things work for my good (Rom. 8:28).
- The effect of Scripture on our souls is gradual, occuring over time. I spent many, many months meditating on 1 Peter 4:19 before I began to see in my life any fruit of trusting my faithful Creator. If you have been trying to spend time in God's word and are discouraged about lack of growth, don't give up! Affection for God and his word will come in time.
- God is eager to reveal himself to us, especially through Scripture. He is not hiding. Even reading some of the most difficult to understand passages, we can look for our need for a Savior (examples of sin and suffering in this fallen world) and God's disposition to provide a Savior (to rescue his people from their sin and suffering).
I have been encouraged afresh to press into God's word, to search in Scripture for comfort and correction. This week, I'll continue to share some thoughts about how I personally plan to benefit from God's word in the coming months.
9.22.2006
Uncertain Riches
I did not have time last week to post on the message given at church on 9/10 - it was an excellent one on evangelism and you can listen to it here.
Last Sunday, Tab began a new series on true riches with a message on "Uncertain Riches." His text was 1 Timothy 6:17 - "As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy." Most of us in America are among the top 5-15% of the world's wealthy, so this verse applies to us. Tab gave us 2 charges: 1) don't be proud about your wealth; 2) don't trust in your wealth. When it comes to money, we are tempted to believe two lies. First, we are tempted to believe that we are better than others because of what we have. Second, we are tempted to believe that riches provide us with security. In reality, anything we have has been provided by God (who caused us to be born in this time and place, who gave us minds to be educated, who opened jobs for us, who sustains our bodies so that we can enjoy our food and our belongings). And material blessings are temporal and uncertain, but God is our Eternal Rock!
Ultimately, we need to believe and be satisfied in Jesus Christ, the richest provision ever given. "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Rom. 8:32). This is a promise I need to apply to our saving and spending, to my pursuit of spiritual growth, and to all of my desires. I'm looking forward to the rest of this series.
Last Sunday, Tab began a new series on true riches with a message on "Uncertain Riches." His text was 1 Timothy 6:17 - "As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy." Most of us in America are among the top 5-15% of the world's wealthy, so this verse applies to us. Tab gave us 2 charges: 1) don't be proud about your wealth; 2) don't trust in your wealth. When it comes to money, we are tempted to believe two lies. First, we are tempted to believe that we are better than others because of what we have. Second, we are tempted to believe that riches provide us with security. In reality, anything we have has been provided by God (who caused us to be born in this time and place, who gave us minds to be educated, who opened jobs for us, who sustains our bodies so that we can enjoy our food and our belongings). And material blessings are temporal and uncertain, but God is our Eternal Rock!
Ultimately, we need to believe and be satisfied in Jesus Christ, the richest provision ever given. "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Rom. 8:32). This is a promise I need to apply to our saving and spending, to my pursuit of spiritual growth, and to all of my desires. I'm looking forward to the rest of this series.
9.05.2006
A Heart for the Lost
Sunday's message on Jonah 4 was given by our swell "junior pastor," Josh. The main point was that God does not just want us to bring his message to the lost, but he wants us to bring his attitude of mercy to the lost. Two main hindrances to sharing God's heart for the lost are self-righteousness and self-centeredness. Tab suggested that we cultivate a Christ-like compassion for the lost by praying daily this week for one unbeliever in our lives. I want to pray this week for my ultrasound tech at the fertility clinic. (Yes, this is the same lady who I called by the wrong name for months! I called her Wendy, which is not her name, but I'll call her that on my blog. Wendy the Wander...) When I am in a treatment cycle, I see Wendy on a weekly basis, and we usually have plenty of time to chat while I lay on the examining table. I've already heard some of her story, and she obviously knows a big part of mine. I hope to be able to get to know her better and to share my faith with her over the coming months. In the meantime, I'll be praying for God to give me his love for her.
On a side note, as Josh spoke about self-righteousness, he mentioned that we can often have this same attitude toward fellow believers, saying in our hearts that others don't deserve the blessings they receive. I have often been guilty of that in the area of fertility. In my pride, I think that I deserve a child more than others who are pregnant or who have babies. Thankfully, as God has shown me my sin more clearly, I am less prone to think that I merit the gift of children at all, let alone more than others. However, a more subtle form of the same attitude has cropped up lately. I look at those who have been pregnant during the time we have been trying to conceive, and I wonder, "What spiritual quality do they have that I don't yet? What lessons have they learned from God that I still need to learn? If only I can find out, I can finally get to the point where God is willing to give me a child." Even though I am not elevating myself above others by those thoughts, I am still basically trying to earn a blessing from God - and it is the height of pride to think that I could ever be worthy of God's favor! But my merciful Savior freely pursues me and lavishly blesses me, not as a reward for anything I do, but as the lover of my sinful soul. He did not wait for me to obey before he saved me, and he is not waiting for me to attain some degree of spiritual maturity before he gives me children. He is fulfilling all his good purposes for me in his good time.
On a side note, as Josh spoke about self-righteousness, he mentioned that we can often have this same attitude toward fellow believers, saying in our hearts that others don't deserve the blessings they receive. I have often been guilty of that in the area of fertility. In my pride, I think that I deserve a child more than others who are pregnant or who have babies. Thankfully, as God has shown me my sin more clearly, I am less prone to think that I merit the gift of children at all, let alone more than others. However, a more subtle form of the same attitude has cropped up lately. I look at those who have been pregnant during the time we have been trying to conceive, and I wonder, "What spiritual quality do they have that I don't yet? What lessons have they learned from God that I still need to learn? If only I can find out, I can finally get to the point where God is willing to give me a child." Even though I am not elevating myself above others by those thoughts, I am still basically trying to earn a blessing from God - and it is the height of pride to think that I could ever be worthy of God's favor! But my merciful Savior freely pursues me and lavishly blesses me, not as a reward for anything I do, but as the lover of my sinful soul. He did not wait for me to obey before he saved me, and he is not waiting for me to attain some degree of spiritual maturity before he gives me children. He is fulfilling all his good purposes for me in his good time.
9.01.2006
Judgment, Repentance, and Mercy
Last Sunday, Josh preached from Jonah 3 on "Judgment, Repentance, and Mercy." During the message, he described genuine repentance as having the following characteristics:
1) Genuine repentance involves faith.
2) Genuine repentance involves changed behavior.
3) Genuine repentance involves everything in life.
4) Genuine repentance involves a recognition of guilt.
5) Genuine repentance involves looking to God for mercy.
He then asked the following questions for application. Where in my life is God calling me to repent? An area of unbelief? A behavior that hasn't noticeably changed? An area of life that I won't surrender to God?
I can think of many areas where I need to repent these days. Lack of faith that God is working all things for my good. Anxiety about the future - about how many more hurdles we'll have to jump before having a child, about how many more other babies I will see born before I conceive. A proud posture that thinks my will for my life is better than God's. Infertility is proving to be an area of life that I must surrender to God over and over again. I easily get overwhelmed, despairing that I will ever grow Christ-like enough to humbly accept this trial from the hand of God. The problem when I reach this point is that I get paralyzed; I need to repent of so many things, where do I begin? In those times, I need to ask for help. I need to ask my husband if he sees one area I can focus on (this has helped me so much in the past). The input of close friends helps, too. Above all, I need to believe that God intends to show mercy. He will give his Holy Spirit to guide me. He gives everything that I need for life and godliness through Jesus Christ. So I can repent, not with fear, but with faith.
1) Genuine repentance involves faith.
2) Genuine repentance involves changed behavior.
3) Genuine repentance involves everything in life.
4) Genuine repentance involves a recognition of guilt.
5) Genuine repentance involves looking to God for mercy.
He then asked the following questions for application. Where in my life is God calling me to repent? An area of unbelief? A behavior that hasn't noticeably changed? An area of life that I won't surrender to God?
I can think of many areas where I need to repent these days. Lack of faith that God is working all things for my good. Anxiety about the future - about how many more hurdles we'll have to jump before having a child, about how many more other babies I will see born before I conceive. A proud posture that thinks my will for my life is better than God's. Infertility is proving to be an area of life that I must surrender to God over and over again. I easily get overwhelmed, despairing that I will ever grow Christ-like enough to humbly accept this trial from the hand of God. The problem when I reach this point is that I get paralyzed; I need to repent of so many things, where do I begin? In those times, I need to ask for help. I need to ask my husband if he sees one area I can focus on (this has helped me so much in the past). The input of close friends helps, too. Above all, I need to believe that God intends to show mercy. He will give his Holy Spirit to guide me. He gives everything that I need for life and godliness through Jesus Christ. So I can repent, not with fear, but with faith.
8.22.2006
The Grace I Need
On Sunday, Tab preached an excellent message from Jonah 2, "Salvation Belongs to the Lord." (You should soon be able to listen to it here.) The two main points were that 1) God hears our cries of distress and 2) God's grace delivers us from our distress. The whole message was encouraging, but I was helped most by part of the second point. Here's a quick summary: We need to apply the truth that salvation belongs to the Lord to our current distress, but we don't always know what that looks like. God could give delivering grace that puts an end to the distress, or he could give sustaining grace that helps us endure through difficulty. No matter what, we who believe have already been given ultimate deliverance from our greatest distress, our sin that merits the wrath of God, through the cross where Christ suffered that distress in our place.
As I have faced the distress of infertility, I have cried out often for delivering grace. I want God to put an end to this trial by blessing us with children soon. While it is not a bad thing to ask for delivering grace, I realized that I have been rejecting any other form of grace as not good enough. God has provided me with plenty of sustaining grace over the past year, but I quickly overlook that. I too often fail to notice God's goodness in strengthening me to endure infertility, in enabling me to battle against sins like jealousy and self-pity and to actually make some progress! Even worse, I minimize the greatness of the ultimate delivering grace of salvation. "So what if I've been saved from my sins," I scoff. "What does it matter that I have an eternal relationship with a loving God, if I can't have a baby?" Okay, I don't actually say those things (maybe I should, so I would be more properly horrified by my unbelief!). But my lack of joy and refusal to be comforted by the gospel in the midst of trial basically says the same thing. The gospel DOES matter; it should put my infertility in perspective and should increase my trust in the Father who did not spare his own Son for me and who will never withhold good from me. Though I may have pretty strong feelings about the kind of grace I want, the Lord will always give me the kind of grace I need.
Note: I would like to start devoting one post a week to reflections on the Sunday message. Hopefully, this will be the first of many!
As I have faced the distress of infertility, I have cried out often for delivering grace. I want God to put an end to this trial by blessing us with children soon. While it is not a bad thing to ask for delivering grace, I realized that I have been rejecting any other form of grace as not good enough. God has provided me with plenty of sustaining grace over the past year, but I quickly overlook that. I too often fail to notice God's goodness in strengthening me to endure infertility, in enabling me to battle against sins like jealousy and self-pity and to actually make some progress! Even worse, I minimize the greatness of the ultimate delivering grace of salvation. "So what if I've been saved from my sins," I scoff. "What does it matter that I have an eternal relationship with a loving God, if I can't have a baby?" Okay, I don't actually say those things (maybe I should, so I would be more properly horrified by my unbelief!). But my lack of joy and refusal to be comforted by the gospel in the midst of trial basically says the same thing. The gospel DOES matter; it should put my infertility in perspective and should increase my trust in the Father who did not spare his own Son for me and who will never withhold good from me. Though I may have pretty strong feelings about the kind of grace I want, the Lord will always give me the kind of grace I need.
Note: I would like to start devoting one post a week to reflections on the Sunday message. Hopefully, this will be the first of many!
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