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Seeing Red

The alternative title for this post was "Round 9, Day 2." If you've been following closely, you know what that means. And it's not good news. The visit to Texas was lovely, but I got an unwanted visitor while we were there. I noticed a tiny bit of spotting on Friday night, which I chose to ignore. The spotting fought for attention by continuing all day Saturday. A new cycle began on Sunday evening, so I did not go in for the pregnancy test on Monday morning. Instead, I called to schedule a day 3 ultrasound. I'm assuming that I'll have a cyst, because I have gotten one every time I've done Clomid. But if I am cyst-free, we'll start a round of injectibles and IUI. I'm also going to start reading up about IVF and adoption.

We were disappointed to have another failed cycle, but it wasn't surprising. After 2 years of this, I've stopped expecting good news. Pregnancy seems like a far, far off dream at this point. Something that only happens to other people. At least I've learned to stop thinking, "Maybe I'll at least be pregnant by the time so and so gives birth." Now I just need to keep learning to put my hope in the Lord and not in ever being pregnant. But I have a feeling that will be a lifetime lesson...


Brooke said...

I know this probably doesn't help at all, but I wanted you to know my heart is extremely heavy with thoughts of you.

I hope it's ok to let you know that. I really do care and feel like my hands are tied in any way that I could show you this.

Kris said...

I'm sorry. Even though the results may not have been surprising, it's still a blow. Take care.