Day 4 was yesterday. I had my ultrasound. Thankfully, the cyst on my left ovary is completely gone. Sadly, Nurse Answers confirmed that Aaron's business trip in early September means that we should not pursue treatment this cycle. Logically, it makes sense; I wouldn't want to take Clomid for a poorly-timed cycle and risk forming another cyst that would prevent us from trying next cycle when timing should not be an issue. Emotionally, it was a really tough blow to hear that we have to face yet another delay. I feel as though God is opposed to us having a child, sending every possible obstacle our way. What hope do we have for children if God is against us? I'm struggling for faith to see that God proved he is for me by sending Jesus to die on the cross. I'm fighting to treasure a relationship with my Lord above the dream of snuggling a beautiful newborn baby of our own. I want to really functionally believe that God's plans are better than mine, his good is better than I can imagine, his glory is worth my suffering.
Psalm 119:28 My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!
1 comment:
I have no other words to sufficiently comfort you tonight except these: know that I am praying for you. And not only praying for a baby, but praying for comfort, for faith, for obedience, for surrender. I love you.
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