Meditation on Psalm 90

Lord, you have been our dwelling place
in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
You return man to dust
and say, "Return, O children of man!"
For a thousand years in your sight
are but as yesterday when it is past,
or as a watch in the night.
...
So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.

God, you are so much vaster than me. Let me have an eternal perspective on this trial. This week of waiting to take a pregnancy test seems especially long, but I know it is fleeting in your eyes. You are God everlasting, unchanging even as the circumstances of my life come and go. Give me wisdom that recognizes how grand and merciful you are.

Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for an many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.

I keep wondering how much longer this trial of infertility will go on. Will it end this weekend? Or is there still more you want me to endure? Please have pity on me and bring this long season of waiting to a close. Please let this weekend yield a positive pregnancy test. Let this weekend be the beginning of days of gladness after many days of affliction. Let us experience the blessing of children after becoming so intimate with the pain of the affect of this fallen world on our ability to conceive. Let me rejoice in a pregnancy, because I am satisfied in your steadfast love. But if I am not pregnant, let me still rejoice in your steadfast love.

Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!

Please establish the work of our hands, the efforts we have made to conceive with the medical treatments for our infertility. You alone can grant life; we want to see your miraculous work! I want to tell my children of all that you have done to bring them into existence, of the great power you have displayed in my body and in my soul.

I know that no matter what comes this week, your favor rests on me because of the cross.