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Tu-be or Not Tu-be

(Sorry, I couldn't think of anything better resist.)

It's laparoscopy eve, not-so-affectionately known as the day when I consume nothing but broth, juice, and sorbet. Oh, and an entire, undiluted bottle of citrate of magnesium later tonight. Blegh. I'm worn out, both from the lack of nourishment and from the business of getting work and home squared away before tomorrow. At this point, a day where I have to do nothing but succumb to anesthesia sounds pretty appealing. If it weren't for the fact that induced subconsciousness is tied to that pesky surgical procedure...

I've devoted serious effort this week to fighting my fears about the laparoscopy. Meditating on Psalm 23, Psalm 27, Isaiah 41, and Isaiah 43 has helped. The fear has subsided some as I rehearse the truth that God made me, and he is with me, holding my right hand, and that he will not let me come to ultimate harm. But I still worry about the potential negative implications of whatever the doctor might find while investigating this blocked fallopian tube. I want the laparoscopy to clear the way for us to conceive, not doom me to infertility that can't be overcome. My prayer is that the results of the laparoscopy would be tangibly beneficial - something I can embrace as good not just by faith but by sight.

I'm feeling awfully tired, so I'll wrap this up. For those who want the details, the laparoscopy is scheduled for noon. I've been told the procedure itself will take one to four hours, and then I'll be kept in the outpatient recovery area for another one to four hours. I should be home tomorrow evening, hopefully with two totally clear fallopian tubes. I don't know when I'll get around to posting an update, but I'll try to do so as soon as I feel up for it. Calls and e-mails are welcome, if you want an update sooner than I post. In the meantime, I am so grateful for all of your support - the prayers, the notes, the calls, the small gifts. I go to the hospital tomorrow knowing that all of you are metaphorically holding my hands, and that is a very comforting thought.


JJ said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers! The doctors are also in my prayers, that they treat you well and help you feel confident regarding the procedure.
Thinking of you!

Fertilize Me said...

sending you lots of good thoughts your way!

Dave & Beth Saavedra said...

Praying for you today and praying that your prayers and the desires of your heart will be answered.

The Durbin Family said...

Okay, I read this last night before bed and I admit I did not get the title. VERY clever. :) I will be praying for you today, as will Eric. We love you and Aaron! (By the way your previous posts about your spiritual disciplines were very inspiring, challenging, and encouraging to both of us. We continue to stand amazed at the Lord's work in you, and how much we are blessed and grow from the work you are allowing Him to do in you, which in turn touches so many others. He has certainly been glorified through you to us!)

Anonymous said...

Hey, babe. I wasn't able to check blog last night but I'm here, albeit late. I was praying, though, and I still am.

Dear Lord,
I pray for my sister Andrea right now. I pray that you would give her peace that passes all understanding as she goes into this procedure today. I pray that you would guide the doctors as they explore her tube today and that they would be able to remedy the situation without having to reomve it. I pray that the outcome would be far more hopeful than we could expect and that you would restore her body completely. You are the great pysician and you have made Andrea's body. You know exactly what is going on in there and we trust you with it, Lord.

Please give my friend all that she needs to rely on you, God. I pray that you would recall encouraging words and scripture to her mind as she faces this daunting procedure, especially when she reaches the point that she must go on alone. I pray that you would give her a sense of your presence right there with her in the OR. Help her to know how loved she is by all of us out here, too. In your holy name we pray, Amen.

Don't know if you'll get that before you go but I'll be thinking of you and praying for you all day. And Psalm 62 is my favorite comfort Psalm; don't know if it will help you.


Sarah K said...

I'm praying for you today, and for Aaron as he supports you and waits for the outcome with you. (Sorry I wasn't able to be there wednesday--I got back into town that night. But I have been praying!) I thought of you this morning when I read the Scripture for today from Spurgeon: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." (Jer. 31:3) I am praying you will see God showing himself faithful and loving--and that, as you said, it will be goodness that you can see by sight as well as by faith!

With love,


In Search of Morning Sickness said...

Oh Andrea.... You are in my thoughts and prayers today. This is absolutely a time that fear can so easily creep in... But I just pray the Lord would show His mercy in a real vivid way and that you could come out of it with two beautifully unblocked tubes... So that hopefully you can conceive without the need for IVF in the future. Stay strong in the Lord, you are His precious child!

Jon said...

Yes Lord - What Flicka said - Amen!

Heather said...

Sending good thoughts your way. I had my lap last Friday and all is well now.