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Upon Review, I Should Have Found a Synonym for Confident that Begins with the Letter "D"

Anti-climactic. Brief. Confusing. Confident. All those words describe Wednesday's post-op appointment with Dr. Owlish.

Anti-climactic because I had already received a call from the pharmacy last week about filling my prescriptions for an IUI with injectable meds. Follistim - check! Novarel - check! An astonishing 63 progesterone suppositories - check! Since the progesterone supplementation will only be required for either the two weeks between IUI and beta (quantitative pregnancy test via bloodwork, for all you fertile laypeople out there) OR for approximately the first trimester of a pregnancy, I can only conclude that Dr. Owlish is supremely optimistic or that I will be using an uncomfortable quantity of suppositories for the two-week-wait. Anyway, the premature pharmacy call told me pretty much all I need to know about the treatment plan now to follow the laparoscopy.

Brief because I waited about an hour for about a 10-15 minute meeting with Dr. Owlish. He must have had a crazy day, evidenced by an untidily askew tie and a demeanor almost opposite of his usual leisurely, let-me-thoughtfully-and-sympathetically-answer-all-your-questions manner. In other words, he seemed rushed and we didn't talk for very long.

Confusing because he blithely brushed past the matter of my bent fallopian tube ("It was clear. HSGs can be faulty.") and instead dwelled on the biopsy of my bellybutton mole (of all things!) ("Not cancerous.") and of the pelvic tissue ("Stage I endometriosis. We got it all out."). There I sat, prepared with all kinds of now moot questions about my tube. The few questions I scrambled up about the endometriosis diagnosis met with limited answers. "It was in my pelvis?" (As in, that's a rather unspecified location, doc; what organs was it on?) "Yeah, your pelvis." "Oh. Okay." Now that I've had three different (and two faulty) diagnoses for our infertility, I feel a bit uncertain and wary.

Confident - that adjective belongs to Dr. Owlish. I continued probing about the endometriosis. "Will it come back?" "Yes, but not for a year, and we're going to get you pregnant before then." Dr. Owlish is supremely certain that I will be pregnant very soon. Which is kind of reassuring, but kind of makes me want to mitigate his assurance by abandoning any optimism I have for an opposing, negative realism. But all in all, I'm glad Dr. Owlish is so determined on our behalf.

I do still have hope that we will conceive soon. If that hope is a full balloon, this appointment let a bit of air out, but the balloon is still inflated and floating. I'm praying for good things and seeking to keep my confidence in the Lord.


Anonymous said...

Well, I'm confident for you and praying for you.

I HATED progesterone supplements. They made me SO sick. I'll pray you're fine and that 2008/9 will be "the year of the baby" for y'all.

Vacant Uterus said...

Well that is a pretty good report, considering what you were thinking going in! Endo is not terrific and I wish you didn't have it but I'm glad they got it all. And I'm hoping like nothing else that you'll be pregnant soon. I'm really praying that for you.


Jen and Carter's life in the busy world said...

Hello, I found your blog through a friend. I too am struggles with infertility,and I just had a laparoscopy this past week. My husband and I have been ttc for going on 16 mo. We started this process in December of 2006. So I feel your pain and frustation in the process. If you want to email me to chat feel free to pray that our time comes soon.

Sarah K said...

how strange! I hate when doctors are brief and contradictory like that...I admire you for persisting in asking questions anyway! I hope he is more communicative and helpful next time...but it's good to hear that he is optimistic! I am praying that balloon of hope finds a strong wind of fulfillment to carry it high! :)

gracechild said...

63 suppositories :) thats a very vivid image my mind paints. I feel just as confused as you do. I hate it when the docs are so busy that I get the "case note" aka cookie-cutter treatment. Can you schedule a telephone consultation with him for some other time to discuss any questions you may have? I tried that once & it worked ok. Anyway so we looking ahead to the net circle. I'm praying with you girl. All is well