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Another No

At 8:30 this morning, I had blood drawn. At 1:45 this afternoon, Dr. Peppy called to say the results were negative. Hope for a pregnancy has gone into hibernation, for now.

I was graciously given the afternoon off of work. I cried for most of the drive home, managing at times to sing in a whisper along to the song "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. Aaron sweetly arranged for a caffeinated treat for me. Once I got home, I promptly tore off the estrogen patches and settled in to finish reading The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde.

Although I am grieving the loss of this chance for pregnancy, I feel a peace that passes understanding. Aaron and I have faith for whatever God has in store for us. Right now, I could truly say, with Job, that "though He slay me, I will hope in Him" (Job 13:15). Please pray that the Lord's grace would sustain that spirit in my heart.

We're going to take a break from infertility treatments for a little while. We have some traveling we want to do in the fall, and I'm tired of having extra hormones coursing through my body at all times. Our insurance will cover up to two more IVF attempts, so we may still use those at some point in the future. But for now, we've had enough.


GLouise said...

I am so so sorry, dear one. That "no" always stings.

I am praying for you guys.

Beth said...

Dave and I have been reading your blog and we want you to know that you and Aaron have been a tremendous blessing and challenge to us with your faith even in the middle of heartbreaking circumstances. I know that our heavenly Father is pleased with how you have sought out righteousness and His glory again and again. You are such faithful servants and you have been and are very much in our prayers. We love you.

amy said...

I'm so sorry. That totally sucks.

1 Timothy 4:10: "We have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe."

Thinking of you,

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

Just praying for you Andrea. This has got to be the hardest thing to handle.... Just praying.

Amy said...

Oh, Andrea, I'm so sorry. I am overwhelmed by how God has enabled you to trust in Him, even today, and I pray (knowing He will hear and answer) that He will continue to hold you up. I am also sharing in your tears, sister.

Reproductive Jeans said...

Andrea--I am new to your blog, but you commented on mine the other day, and as you know, we are in the same boat--a BFN too. I just wanted to extended my sorrow to you...those tears on the way home were the deepest I have ever cried, and I tore that damn patch off and packed up my hormones so fast it made me dizzy!

We too, are taking the time off to grieve and just be "normal" for a while.

I just wanted to let you know Im here grieving with you, and if you ever need to chat, just email--its on my profile.

Hugs to you...

Chris said...

I'm so sorry.

Glenna Marshall said...

So sorry, friend. Praying for you. Your blog is an encouragement to me.