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IVF #1, Still Stimming
(edited to add icon and link for the mention this post got in Mel's Friday Blog Round-Up; thanks for honoring my words, Mel!)
After today's usual ultrasound (big follicle up to 33mm!) and bloodwork, I had a mid-cycle consult with Dr. Peppy. She confirmed that everything looks good, and she said that I'll likely trigger on Friday or Saturday. That means egg retrieval on Sunday or Monday. We're hoping for Sunday - Aaron, because that means we don't have to fight traffic into the city and he doesn't have to take time off work, me because it would be a "Get Out of Mother's Day Free" pass. (What? That smacks of escapism? No, surely not...) This will be the third Mother's Day to see me childless since we started trying to conceive, and I'd really rather not experience that wrenching stab of heartache when all the moms are honored at church. The ladies over a GirlTalk put up a thoughtful post about infertility and Mother's Day. Here's my favorite part:
My heart cries out, “Why, O God, will You not answer this prayer? Why will You not do this simple thing for me and for Your own name’s sake? You do it for so many so easily. Your marvelous grace. Why not to me?” With thoughts like these, it is easy to fall into deep despair, and at times I certainly do. When this happens, God in His time and His various graceful ways, comes to me to remind me that I am not alone.
He does not, as so many do, tell me that “my time will come.” He does not say that if I will just relax and not try so hard, everything will be okay. He does not say, “If you adopt a baby, you’ll get pregnant.” He does say that He is with me. He weeps with me as Jesus wept for Lazarus. He reminds me that He is good and that He can be trusted with my heart. Any doubt of that was wiped away at the Cross.
If you're experiencing infertility, you'll find comfort in the GirlTalk post. If you haven't experienced infertility, you'll gain a little empathy from the GirlTalk post. And this Mother's Day, I ask you to remember those for whom the day is painful - those who don't or can't have children, those who have lost their moms, those who are estranged from their moms, and so on. I know those ladies (myself included) will need the comfort of Christ this weekend.