Yesterday morning, God kindly led me to read 2 Corinthians 4. Even though I expected negative news in the pregnancy department, I found myself full of fresh encouragement in the gospel through these words of the Lord...
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
God made light to shine out of the void of un-creation. He made light to shine out of the black of sin. And this same God can make light to shine in my bleak experience of infertility. Because of the gospel, I have been given the light of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. No darkness can ever extinguish that light. Though I am afflicted by the loss of my two babies-that-could-have-been, I am not crushed because the Father chose to crush his precious Son in my stead. Though I am perplexed that this IVF did not yield a pregnancy, I am not driven to despair because I have Christ in me, the hope of glory. Though I am persecuted by this enduring trial, Jesus was forsaken on the cross so that I will never be forsaken. Though I am struck down by the disappointing news we received yesterday, I am not destroyed because my soul is held secure in my Savior's wounded hands. Though I have now literally carried death in my body, I trust that the life of Jesus will be manifested through my body in all of its brokenness. Though my frail womb could not hold two embryos, my frail body can hold the treasure of the gospel because God's love and grace will never let me go. Though I am weak and weary, the surpassing power of the Lord is being shown in my suffering for his glory.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison...
2 comments:
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much for your posts and sharing with strangers. You have no idea how your sharing helps others. You have posted whole conversations that were exactly the same as my wife and I's.
Don't fall into the void of medical jargon.
They were not embryo's or fetuses, they were babies. And through repentance and faith in our Lord Jesus we like David can say "While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell [whether] GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?" but now sadly we say "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.".
Keep pressing toward the mark.
Thinking of you, dear friend.
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